Harley Davidson Mechanic

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.

The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage, Hey Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So, Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new.

So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the engine running!!"

Thanx Stan for this one!

NATURAL LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE

Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). also applies to checkout lines in the store...

Theorem of Liquids:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theatre Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering...are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location:
No matter where you go,... there you are.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible... if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making or stocking it.

My wife left me... And I don't understand.

After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses.

I had to give up drinking beer. I was not a big drinker, maybe a 12-pack on weekends.

Anyway, I gave it up, but I noticed the other day when she came home from grocery shopping, the receipt included $45 for makeup.

I said, "Hey, wait a minute! I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything!"

She said, "I buy that makeup for you, so I can look good for you."

I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!"

I don't think she'll be back.

Thanx Stan S. for this one!!